Christmases When You Were Mine
by TheGirlin404
Summary: It's Christmas and Ashley isn't really feeling the Christmas spirit this year. Will she get some help or will she end up drowning in what's bringing her down this holiday season? Read and find out! One-shot!


**Disclaimer: **Yeah I don't own anything related to SoN or the song Christmases When You Were Mine. All those nice copyrights still belong to their owners and no infringement was intended with the creation of this story.

**AN: Hey everyone! So I pulled up some of my Christmas music today and turned on this song today for the first time in a long time. It spoke to me from the minute I started listening to it and I had to get a story out. And this is it. This song fic is a little different than my usual style of song fics. Not only do I use a couple of lyrics as lines I also have the lyrics in the story. **

**Setting: To me this story takes place when the girls are in about their mid 20s. Spencer is a year or so out of college and Ashley has been working on her music career. Anyway, I hope you enjoy! Thanks!**

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Christmases When You Were Mine

She wrapped her hand around the top of the banister and started to slowly descend the stairs. Her chocolate curls bounced around her bare shoulders. The strapless dress flowed off of her body and easily made her the most stunning woman in the room. Then again this was her party and she was supposed to be the most stunning woman in the room.

Sooner than she would have liked Ashley had finished her descent. She stood for a couple of moments at the bottom of the staircase taking in the sight around her. There were easily a hundred people in this place which upset her. There were more people here than Jeff, her manager, had promised her would be in the invite list. It was supposed to have remained a small affair. She wasn't really up to a giant party this year; not up to a party at all really, but Jeff had told her she needed to have something for some of the people at the record label and for some other friends in the music industry to keep her name out there for when she was ready to start on her next album. She would need people for that, and that was the only reason that she had agreed. Jeff had agreed that she could invite some of her personal friends to the gathering as well which was the only thing that would make this party tolerable.

So, there she stood at the bottom of the staircase looking for the people that she actually wouldn't mind as much to be around this evening. Finally, across the room, she spotted her sister Kyla. She sucked in a breath and plastered a fake smile on her face so that no one would get suspicious of her desire to be at this party and started to make her way across the room.

Halfway across the room a crowd of people who had decided to stop and catch up with each other kept her from being able to get through and she had to head towards the side of the room to navigate by them. Just as she got to the point where she could get around them someone grasped her arm to stop her. She turned around to find Richard standing there.

"Well Merry Christmas Ashley," he said jovially. "It's good to see you again."

"Hello Richard," she replied while widening the fake smile on her face just a little more.

Of all the people it would have to be Richard who caught her in the crowd. He was a big time producer for a lot of musicians. His attitude reflected the fact that he was big time. He was one of the most cocky and arrogant men that she had ever had to be around. They had briefly worked on her last album together to produce it. He had good ideas, some that she really liked, but in the end he kept trying to completely change up her style and sound. He also kept asking her out when she was clearly in a relationship with someone at the time. She stopped herself short with that thought. Needless to say, their professional relationship hadn't ended on the best of terms. She wondered what in the hell Jeff had been thinking to invite him here tonight.

"Your last album turned out quite well," he said with a smirk on his face.

'Yeah it turned out way better than it would have I had continued on with you,' she thought to herself.

"Where is that lovely girl of yours?" he questioned her.

Ashley sucked in a short sharp breath. He might as well have just stabbed her with a knife. That was one subject she had wanted to avoid speaking about tonight. It hadn't gotten around yet that she hand Spencer had split up a little over three months ago. Honestly, it still kind of surprised her every morning when she woke up alone that Spencer had left.

"She's uh… She's um… not…" Ashley started to stutter.

"Excuse us for a moment please, I need to speak to Miss Davies," Ashley heard from her side. She felt overjoyed as she recognized the voice of the speaker.

Richard gave a little bow just as Aiden took Ashley's arm and led her away from the wretched man.

"Okay, seriously, Richard?" Aiden questioned her.

"What? He stopped me there. I was on my way over to see Kyla when he stopped to chat."

"Wait you didn't know?"

"Know what?"

"Ashley, look just above where you were standing."

"Oh my god, who put up mistletoe in here! I specifically said to the planner not to put any up anywhere in this house… You know what, just don't answer. I don't want to think about that right now."

"Are you going to be alright?" Aiden asked her while softening his tone towards her.

"I was fine until the nights got cold. Then I started to really miss her. Christmas was our time of year. It's just hard not to have her here."

"I bet," Aiden replied as he wrapped an arm around her shoulder and started to lead her from the edge of the room over to the bar that was set up.

"Hey, thanks," Ashley told him as she slid her arm around his back and gave him a little squeeze.

"For what?"

"For getting me out from under the mistletoe with that jerk Richard," she replied while smiling up at him. A sincere one this time and not fake like she was giving to everyone at the rest of the part.

"That's what friends are for," he said smiling back at her. He was glad to see a real smile on her face for a change. She had been so down lately he was wondering if he would ever see a real smile on her face again.

After Ashley grabbed a drink from the bar she started to make her way around the room greeting everyone. "Merry Christmas" was just something she was saying to everyone this year. She could really care less. There were a thousand other places she could be at this moment and yet there was really only one where she wanted to be.

After feeling like she had greeted everyone she finally found Jeff in the crowd. He was talking to the operator of the record label. Technically she was in charge of the record label because she had inherited it when her father passed away, but she had to have someone else there to run it so she could focus on her own musical career. Things had gone well until the production of the last album and then problems with Spencer had started not long after.

"Good evening Jeff, Anthony," she greeted them as she walked over.

"There's my girl," Jeff commented. "You look amazing this evening."

She put her fake smile back in place. She sort of hated the fact that he always called her his girl. She thought back to some of the conversations and fights she'd had with Spencer. Maybe there were certain things she needed to think about more and start making some changes.

"Good evening Ashley," Anthony replied to her greeting. "How are you?"

"Fine thanks. This party is a little larger than I had agreed to, but it's under way now so there's not much I can do about it."

Both men chuckled a little at her comment. They all got quiet and stared at one another for a couple of minutes. Jeff finally cleared his throat and broke the silence.

"Ashley, I was just telling Anthony about how you've been working on a lot of music lately."

"Oh really?" Ashley replied as she widened her fake smile just a little to look like she was interested in it. He would have to bring up the fact that she had been working more on her music lately. What else could she do since the woman that she loved more than anyone had left? She had to throw herself into her work to try and get over it.

"Yes. In fact we were hoping that you could sing a little something for us this evening," Anthony commented.

Honestly, that was the last thing that she wanted to do. But, he kept everything running smoothly at the company which allowed her to focus on her music; and she had been kind of working on a Christmas song lately.

"Sure, I have something that I'd like to sing. In fact, this is one I've been working on recently. I've recorded a bit of it here in the studio at the house, but not in the big studio yet so no one has heard it."

Both men looked rather interested in the fact that she had at least one song that neither of them had heard before. Ashley had a habit of at least letting them hear little snippets of songs she was working on.

"Can you just grab my guitar for me?" she asked Jeff.

He nodded that he would and she excused herself from the men to make her way to the stage.

Ashley made her way over to the stage and went to greet the lead of the band that had been performing. She politely asked if she could steal the show from them for a few minutes and he readily agree.

"Ladies and gentlemen," the lead of the band called to everyone. "If we could have your attention for just a few moments. Your hostess of the evening, the lovely Miss Ashley Davies has a few things she'd like to say."

He handed her the mic and made his way off stage with the rest of his band. "Thank you for that introduction Steve. First off how about we give a hand to our band of the evening, Theater Boys."

Everyone applauded and cheered the band. They had done a great job this evening and were gracious enough to do the gig since they were technically guests of the party themselves because they had been signed to the label recently.

"Also, I would like to thank all of you who came out this evening. It's wonderful to see all the artists of our label here along with our supporters and friends. We couldn't do what we do without you and we want to thank you for all that you have done for us this year."

The crowd all applauded each other politely at her thanks of their support.

"And lastly. I have been asked to sing a little something for you. I've focused heavily on my music here as of late and written several new songs. One of those happens to be a Christmas song and no one has heard it before. I would like to share it all with you this evening."

They all applauded a little louder now realizing that they were going to get a short performance out of her. It had been a couple of years since she had done a public performance. She had taken a step back from the idea of touring and doing performances when she and Spencer had considered starting a family. That was some of what had led to their breakup.

Jeff stepped up to the edge of the stage and handed her the guitar she had requested. She took it from him and slung it over her should and then stepped up behind the microphone once more on stage.

"This one is a little outside of what you would normally expect from me, but I hope you enjoy it anyway."

The crowd gave a small applause of encouragement for her.

Ashley started to strum the intro of the song quietly and then came in singing

_Please take down that mistletoe,_

_Cause I don't wanna think about that right now,_

_Cause everything I want is so far away_

_In a snow covered little town_

Ashley quickly glanced out at the audience and saw how they had all gathered nearer to the stage. Jeff and Anthony were right next to it as were Kyla and Aiden, just off the side of her a little. She smiled seeing her sister and best friend there. They knew just what she was going through. She picked right back up with the lyrics after the measure of just the guitar strum.

_Your mamma's probably in the kitchen, fussing about me_

_Season's greetings, hope you're well_

_Well I'm doin' alright_

_If you were wonderin'_

_Though you may not be_

_I know this shouldn't be a lonely time_

_But there were Christmases when you were mine_

Okay, so it was sort of a lie. She wasn't doing all that well with Spencer gone. But this was music and that's the lyric that fit best. And she would be lying again with the start of the next verse too.

_I've been doing fine without you, really_

_Up until the nights got cold_

_And everybody's here, except you, baby_

_Seems like everyone's got someone to hold_

_But for me it's just a lonely time_

_Cause there were Christmases when you were mine_

She looked out over the audience. Some people had tears starting to glisten in their eyes. She could tell that others were putting the pieces together about why they hadn't seen Spencer lately. There was an ache deep in her chest while singing this. Every time she worked on this song she the pain was nearly unbearable. Tonight it didn't seem as bad. She wondered if it was because she was sharing it with other people. She could see someone making their way through the crowd out in the dark, but she couldn't make out any more than a dark figure moving.

_Merry Christmas everybody_

_That'll have to be something I just say this year_

_I'll bet you got your mom another sweater_

_And your brothers will be late again_

_When you put the lights up this year_

_Did you notice one less pair of hands?_

_I know this shouldn't be a lonely time_

_But there were Christmases when I didn't have to wonder how you are_

_Cause there were Christmases when you were mine_

_You were mine_

She finished off the last couple of chords at the end of the song. Everyone burst into applause at the song. She was nearly on the verge of tears. She started to take the guitar off when she caught a glimpse of golden blonde hair out of the corner of her eye. She looked over and there stood the woman she loved near the front of the crowd at the side of the stage.

Spencer had tears streaming down her face, but to Ashley she still looked as beautiful as ever. So beautiful, in fact, that Ashley was seriously considering if her eyes were playing tricks on her. Why would Spencer show up here just a few days before Christmas?

"Thank you so much everyone and Merry Christmas" Ashley said into the mic before stepping away. She took the guitar strap off and gently placed the guitar on a free stand that the band wasn't using before making her way down the steps of the stage.

Instantly she was surrounded by people wanting to tell her how wonderful the song was been. She thanked them all repeatedly but excused herself as quickly as she could to try and catch a glimpse of that blonde hair and the woman she loved. She had to know if her mind had been making Spencer up to ease her pain. Or maybe it had done it to torture her just a little more and make her hurt some more.

Ashley stood near the center of the room. She turned in all directions, but at first she wasn't seeing the flash of blonde that she had hoped to spot. She slowly turned once again and just as she had about completed her circle she spotted the flash of blonde near the gigantic 12 foot, or taller, tree.

She hurried off in the direction of her girl before she lost her again. "Spence," she called as she got a little closer. When Spencer looked up Ashley knew for certain she hadn't imagined her being there. Spencer really was standing here.

Spencer's eyes were already red and a little puffy and still there were tears streaming down her face. Before Ashley had time to process much more about her Spencer was falling into her arms and sobbing. Ashley just wrapped her tightly in her arms as her own tears started to fall.

Ashley rubbed up and down Spencer's back trying to give her some comfort as she tried to get a handle on her own emotions at the same time. She was experiencing everything from elation to have Spencer in her arms to anger that they had broken up and she had left in the first place.

"Hey, what's going on?" Ashley whispered in Spencer's ear once she could feel her calming down a little bit and her breathing starting to settle out a bit.

"I'm so sorry Ash," Spencer uttered. "I realized what an idiot I had been practically the minute I left. But I couldn't make myself face you. And then we moved into the holiday season and the regrets I had about how we ended things started to eat me up. I started thinking about all of the holidays we spent together and how Christmas was our time of year."

Spencer had leaned back in Ashley's embrace so that they could look each other in the eyes as she spoke. She didn't expect Ashley to forgive her for what she had done, but she wanted her to know that she was being sincere with the words she was speaking.

"I guess I'm still on some of the lists at the label," she continued on, "because I got an email about the party. I knew then that I had to come and see you and apologize for what I'd done. I had no right to leave the way that I did. I should have stayed and talked it out with you more. I don't expect you to forgive, but I had to tell I'm sorry. Then I get here and…"

She started to get choked up again thinking about the song she'd just listened to Ashley performing. She took in a deep breath and pushed back the tears that were threating to spill again.

"And then I came in just as you were getting ready to start that song. I felt everything I had done to you and it just hurt so much. I can't believe that I did that to you."

A couple of tears spilled over now and Ashley reached up and wiped them away with her thumbs.

"Spence, I am so sorry too," she replied. She smiled a little with just the smallest amount of nose crinkling with it. It was a smile that she reserved just for Spencer. Ashley slid her hands up and around Spencer's cheeks just to keep maintain the eye contact they had before saying, "I think we have a lot to talk about, but I don't think now is the right time to discuss it all. If you're up for it we can get out of here and head home soon. It's getting late and we can maybe get some sleep and then discuss it tomorrow. Unless you have somewhere else you have to be?"

Spencer shook her head. She was never going anywhere again without Ashley if she could help it. She opened her mouth to agree with what Ashley had said when someone called out, "Well are you going to kiss her or not? You've been under that mistletoe for a good ten minutes now."

Each of their heads whipped up to see the moss suspended there from the ceiling. Ashley thought of how it would be her luck to be caught under mistletoe twice in once night when she had specifically asked that it not be present. However, this time she didn't mind the person she was under it with. She gave Spencer a look asking for permission to kiss her. Spencer nodded her consent for Ashley to kiss her.

Ashley leaned in towards Spencer. Just before their lips met she whispered, "And this Christmas I'll still be able to call you mine." The kiss was feather light, but held something so much stronger. With that kiss they knew that even though they still had things to talk about and work out that it would work out in the end, and they would face everything challenging that came their way, together.

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**So, thank you so much for reading this fic. I hope you enjoyed it. Just so you know the song is of course Christmases When You Were Mine by Taylor Swift. I have changed up the wording in the lyrics a little bit to make it flow better in the Spashley universe. Now, I would absolutely love to get a review and hear what y'all think about this story! So, please leave me some feedback, I'll consider it a wonderful Christmas present if you do! :-)**


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